The Concept of A Forever Home Could Be Toxic

Have you ever used the term “forever home?”

I know I have! When my husband and I were engaged, we bought our first home together, a 3 bed/2 bath condo with no outdoor space and a rented parking spot across the street. We would routinely tell others, “it’s perfect for right now, but it’s not our forever home.”

By saying “forever home,” I think we all commonly understand that we’re talking about the home you’ll live in for most of your life. It’s the home where you will raise your kids, celebrate holidays, and hopefully build your wealth. It’s the home you’ll invest in, the one you’ll remodel and decorate to be perfect for your family. For many people, a forever home is a major life and financial goal.

But I’ve been thinking… what else is embedded in the term “forever home” that is actually pretty toxic?

For one thing… visualize a “forever home” in your mind. I would be willing to bet that it’s a single family home with a big backyard, at least a two car garage, at least four bedrooms, and a big modern kitchen and pantry. That right there puts a “forever home” as out of reach for so many people. And I personally find it quite toxic to elevate something that’s financially impossible for a lot of people as a cultural centerpiece.

Next… a “forever home” sounds like a destination. But isn’t the process of inhabiting a home, any home, really more of a journey? What happens when you get that home, move in, and look around? Do you feel as though you’ve arrived… or do you wonder what’s next? In this way, a “forever home” is a false dream that may not deliver on its promise.

And finally, most pertinently to my line of work… if the “forever home” is the destination, and the only desirable outcome, then life can’t really begin until you get there. I see with many clients that there’s very little incentive to invest time, energy, or money into the space they currently live in that’s not their “forever home.” Of course, we don’t want to make irresponsible financial decisions. But the “forever home” isn’t guaranteed, and it definitely isn’t guaranteed on any specific timeline. Are you going to spend months, years, perhaps decades of your life living in a home you hate, just because you haven’t gotten to the “forever home” yet?

To me, all the years count. Every day, you have an opportunity to create a space and a lifestyle that brings you comfort and calm, maybe even joy. It’s worth getting organized even if you don’t have the giant pantry to organize with ranks of matching baskets. It’s worth decluttering even if you can’t install a custom walk in closet. No matter the size, layout, or cost of the space you live in, you deserve the best version that you can make of it.

Tell me… are you waiting for your “forever home” to get organized?

LMW